Mary Panttaja

Jim and I were half way through a morning ride the other day when we stopped for quick drink of water. Jim’s report from the GPS analysis was encouraging (we finally purchased a replacement GPS for the ones missing from our bags on our return from Peru). We were two miles per hour faster this day than the previous run which was in a dastardly wind. Over just 9 miles, that is a meaningful increase in speed.

Of course, it reminded us not to pay too much attention to speed, since it would always be dependant on outside variables, like wind—elements of the world arising outside of our control. So we can’t take too much blame for slow speeds but also not too much credit for quick runs. So then we mused, if we can’t tell how well we are doing by our speed, then maybe we track time, time on the bike. But then, your “credit” is less if you go faster—which is always a seeming goal—to go faster. So maybe then it’s how far you go—how many miles you can clock.

Suddenly we realized that we were scouting around for the definitive way to measure our experience. And left staring at the question of what that was: the need in us to measure it all. It felt a little silly, and Jim said, “just ride” as we took off on the second half of the loop.

And, while I understand that with some goals, measurement is a helpful tool, it seems that we have a tendency to lose the focus on our personal living experience and grasp onto external measurements to evaluate how well the day, our lives, our work is going. Even though we know, if we think clearly, that external measures are always going to be part of the whole world’s arising into being and not simply a function of our effort. We can have done our part valiantly and, for external measures, it may look like a failure. And on the other hand, sometimes we win through the “luck” of the draw, because of the flow of events.

But what is really meaningful to our workouts is the continuing development of the strength and health of our bodies and minds. Any measurement is a minor reflection of that, a simple tool, but never the actual, useful result. Our evolving capacity for participation, whether in our exercise program, our life, or work, is really the measure of our growth.

And, okay, sometimes it is nice to go fast.